It was interesting to read an interpretation and dissection of the secrecy associated with the news of a pregnancy. Here’s an excerpt from Jessica Zucker’s book – I had a Miscarriage:
Once the first trimester passes, the conventional wisdom goes, you’ve reached an ostensible safe zone -a time to celebrate and let your baby bump show. When you begin to unpack the messaging of “wait until the second trimester’ the logic goes something like this: “Don’t share your good news until you are in the clear. This way, if your good news becomes bad news, then you won’t have to share your bad news.”
Stop and think about this really think. By suggesting that women stay mum during these preliminary weeks and in the event of an early miscarriage, we essentially remove from the conversation and in so doing, stigmatize-any woman who doesn’t experience multiple trimesters of pregnancy. It implies that you probably won’t want to or shouldn’t share news of a miscarriage, so you shouldn’t say anything until the risk of that happening is lower.
To be clear, it’s completely understandable if you’d like to keep news of your pregnancy to yourself for however long, and for whatever reason. Miscarriages are undoubtedly hard and, for some women, they can be difficult to discuss. But it’s worth reflecting on whether you’re consciously choosing not to share the details of your personal medical history or reflexively avoiding these conversations because it’s so ingrained in us not to talk about loss…
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